I was going to type “yet again” but it doesn’t matter really that I’ve been on this journey a dozen times, it just matters that this is the last day 1. So today is the start of the end of my yo-yo dieting, my yo-yo eating, my yo-yo frame of mind. It’s just time to put the train on the tracks and head down the hill to healthiness. I know it’s possible because I was reading my journal for my 2010-2011 journey and I made it to a size 12 at 183.6 lbs and was happy there. I went lower but didn’t do it right and I knew even than that there was no way that was going to be my way of life so for this final journey I’m not shooting for the perfect anything. I just want to get back to 183.6 lbs, get into a size 12 and feel good about myself.
So today I step on the scale. I haven’t done anything since February on the diet front. I tried for a bit but with Cindy getting so sick all year and than passing away, with finding out my daddy isn’t going to know who we are in a year or so, with my grandma breaking her back, well I haven’t done anything for me. It’s not anyone’s fault, just mine and I own this. I know that I have a hard road to travel this time too, however I have to change a bit and put me in the front running. It will be hard because really other than a couple of people that understand, the rest request (really demand) that I am at their beck and call 24/7.
I wasn’t going to tell, I was going to keep this to myself but you know what I am human and I make tons of mistakes and I’ve let life get in the way so I’m going to tell and you’re going to take a deep breath and say to yourself WOW, how did she do that but than I am expecting you to help me, help myself get back into this healthy, love thyself way of life.
215.0 and a size 18!
So there you have it, the whole truth, nothing but the truth.
What am I going to do about it today. I am going to drink my breakfast, I’m going to take the kids bowling, I’m going to eat lunch at the bowling alley and eat as healthy as I can, I’m going to come home and eat a salad for dinner and I’m going to log it all on myfitnesspal. I am going to take this all one day at a time.
I want a 2 day meal plan that I can repeat over and over. Something that is tasty and healthy and do able. So just normal everyday foods. This is my job for the weekend. I read also about a 5:2 diet, eat your normal healthy meals 5 days and than for 2 days cut the calories to 500. The two days are not in a row so I think I will be giving this a try.
I am going back to journaling. I read back in my book when I first embarked on my first really fitness journey and I have some things I need to remember, some things I’ve learned a bit more from. Life has really changed since then, I was a beginner empty nester that felt the world was going to collapse without Mike here 24/7. I thought him being 1500 miles away from home was going to kill me. Well I lived and now life has other huge issues to deal with, I can do it. I WILL DO IT!!! (with your help).
So it’s time.
Hugs!!!! And Im so proud of you!!! I spent the night at my moms last night so I didnt have a scale, but I will weigh in first thing in the AM!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Julie, I can commiserate with your unfortunate circumstances through the eyes of a young boy looking at his mother. You see...my own father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease when I was about 12 years old. And my parents still had six of us at home when he could no longer work. My mom was under 24/7 stress. She had to take care of my father, take in working parents infants and pre-school children to make ends meet, do all the shopping and household chores etc. No one ever said to her, your load is heavy, what can I do to help? She never got a reprieve from all the responsibility. I see now that talk/lip service to others is often meaningless. If you want to help, you need to roll up your sleeves and get dirty. My mom needed someone to roll up their sleeves and pitch in. Not praise her for all she had on her plate and was able to manage.
ReplyDeleteSo...is it any wonder that you haven't been able to focus on yourself? No, not really. Especially when you are being pulled in three separate directions with other's needs. On the food front - Salads can get old, no matter how much you try to mix them up. Just speaking for myself...I'd go low carb, and focus on eggs, a lot of eggs and hard cheeses, rotisserie chicken, a few of my favorite vegetables and lots of water. Oh and coffee with half and half:) Eating this way, satisfies my body's fat cravings, gives me energy, keeps most of the cravings at bay. Good luck and serious blessings. You need a few angels in your midst.
I'm sorry 2013 was so rough, seems like it was hard for a lot of us. You can do this Julie, there is no shame in starting over. I'm right there with you starting over as well. This year is going to be better :)
ReplyDeleteI'm cheering you on!! My life is seeming to get back to normal again, so I will be joining you again. I will step on the scale tomorrow morning and start logging again too. Thanks for your steady support Julie. I wish you well, in all the hard circumstances life is dealing you. I think you're awesome and you deserve the best!
ReplyDeleteI think Marc's comment was really good.
ReplyDeleteJulie, sometimes we face walls so high it takes a lot of time figuring how to go over them or around them. You're back. You want this, and you'll make it happen because you know how!!
I also love Marc's comment. We're with you, Julie. Keep us posted. Hugs. :)
ReplyDelete